Betters Into Worse

It was designed to begin and end with purity, an enduring place of firsts between a husband and wife. The first night full of experiment and discovery, the joy and submission of becoming one with someone else, should set a standard for the marriage instead of memory. As the two intertwine and life plays its hand the marriage bed will be a place of inside jokes, intimate secrets, tears and laughter. Many decisions will be made there, discussions started on opposite sides that end with a roll to the middle. A husband sweeps his bride’s hair back as she lays over the side of the bed nauseated because the fruit of their union is making its presence known in her womb. It won’t be long until the very same fruit runs, jumps, bounces on the same bed where it was created, giggling all the while. The bed will extend its landing again to offer comfort from thunder and big bad dreams because no one’s covers can do a better job of covering than those of a mother and father’s.

Although the bed itself may change, a new mattress every 10 years, a new frame as the times demand, sheets and pillows will come and go, but the spirit of the marriage is kept with the couple. They may grow into a new home. They may downsize to a guest room or visit around the world. They may even take it to a hospital. Although the bed may see its share of repetition, firsts will always have a place between the two. Kids turn into grandkids, and betters into worse.

What once was a place of joy may become a place of pain. What was once health may become sickness, and richer may turn poorer. The same intimate care and discovery they experienced on their wedding night may look differently as one feeds and bathes the other. Bed side tables can pile up with medicine, heating pads, bed pans, Gatorade and more, but with it comes new jokes and secrets to share between the unified two.

A marriage bed begins long before the words “I do” and I suspect that even death can’t really put it to an end. Given the full attention of its occupants, it will grow and grow in love and strength. A picture of the kingdom of heaven. Unity in the betters, unity in the worse. Love holds no record of wrong, it is kind, it isn’t self-seeking, and it does not give up.